Dr. Woot’s Guide for Blitz Happiness

[Woots]

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'm a Fat noob XD Someone help me to add colour please!
*NOW OBSOLETE BECAUSE BLITZ IS DEAD* (I'll still work on it in case Blitz is revived XD)
Welcome to:
Dr. Woot’s Guide for Blitz Happiness (No Satisfaction Guaranteed)

DISCLAIMER: Dr. Woots is not held responsible for any damages occurring while reading this guide. Damage caused to your computer when you realize that you have been playing Blitz wrong for weeks, lung damage when you sigh from relief that there is now a guide for Blitz, brain damage from all the awesomeness that is in this guide or Carpel Tunnel caused by constant praise to Dr. Woots are totally your fault.

Ok, so first of all, the FAQs, cause everyone loves FAQs.

FAQS

Q: What is Blitz? [/color]
A: Well, [insert name of player here], Blitz is a happy little galaxy where life only lasts 20 minutes, and people shoot lasers and missiles at each other to gain control over 3 key colonies, which provide exp, and the corp with the most exp at the end of said 20 minutes wins!

Q: Why is there only Sol?
A: That is because the game hasn't started yet. You need 4 players to begin a game!

Q: How do I get money?
A: You get a certain amount of money/second once the game begins and that is based on your Charisma. 0 Charisma= 500$/second. 5 Charisma= 1000$/second. 10 Charisma= 1500$/second.

Q: wtf how do people get seth or isc!?
A: Because they either get money from corpies or have higher Charisma than you.

Q: Why am I not getting exp?
A: That is because you do not control any of the 3 colonies. Capture them to start receiving exp.

Q: Why do my corp members have more exp than I do?
A: That may be that they or their defenses have killed someone, or more likely, they have more wisdom than you. Higher Wisdom=more exp/second.

Q: What is Blitz Rating?
A: Blitz Rating is an indicator of how well you do in Blitz. When you win, you gain Blitz Rating, when you lose, you lose Blitz rating. Of course, Blitz rating is not always the best way to tell who is a better player, some players just get stuck with corp members who don't help, or are just unlucky. Remember, never judge a book by its Blitz Rating...er, I mean cover.

Q: wtf why are my corp members logging off?
A: Because they have a life! Er, it happens probably because they have something else to do, a power outage (happened to me) or they disconnected.

Q: WTF WHY CAN'T I PLAY / WTF WHY AM I NOT ON A TEAM?
A: Now now, [insert player name here], calm down. This is probably because you idled too long (not do anything) and you have gone into spectator mode (which is when you do not participate in the game, only watch from sol). Or some meanie tricked you into typing /spectate. Anyways, to get back into the game, just type /spectate and if it says "You are no longer spectating" then you're good (remember that you can only do this in between games).

Q: WTF WHY DO I STILL NOT HAVE WARP FUEL?
A: If you could just calm down...you get more fuel at the beginning of the next game.

Q: Wtf why did it kick me out of the dome when I capped it?
A: Actually, no one knows. You're better off not caring or asking one of the admins.

Q: Why do people have higher Blitz Rating than me?
A: Maybe you should stop losing. Erm, probably because they are lucky, or they just play more games.

Ok, thats it for Questions with Dr. Woots! See you next decade!

Time for the:
BLITZ DOs AND DON'Ts (Grammar Not Applicable)

DO help your corpies!
DO give encouragements!
DO help out new players!
DO share your money!
DO help invade!
DO get your lazy butt out of Sol!
Most Important, DO HAVE FUN!

DON'T flame people.
DON'T sit in Sol and beg your corpies for money.
DON'T backstab people. Especially if you're CEO
DON'T harass anyone.
DON'T be an overall jackass. Or an overalls wearing donkey named Jack.
DON'T ruin the fun of others.

The Strategy Hour with your host, Dr.Woots

First of all, we'll cover ships cause they're the most important part of Blitz next to holding the colonies.

Taking a break

[Catfish]

i love it

[Major.Arse]

I liked it, wouldn't change a thing.

nice work.

[Chettoes121]

OMG!! OMG!!! OMG!! OMG!!! OMG!! OMG!!! A DoCTOR PLAYS SGE OMG!! OMG!!! OMG!! OMG!!! OMG!! OMG!!! OMG!! OMG!!!

[Barefoot]

Where's that strategy section?

[Woots]

Meh, I really should become unlazy and do it. Tomorrow!

[Wagon]

sticky!!!!!!!!

[Toonces]

Look for the official grand opening of blitz in a week or two

[Homeworld32]

Look for the official grand opening of blitz in a week or two

<3

[Woots]

Can't you people read? I'll do it when I'm not as lazy

[Woots]

Someone delete this, I'ma make an actual blitz guide, not this piece of crap